Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Workin' Stiff

Goodness, goodness. Folks, I cannot stop listening to an album that's six years old. Normally I'm against that kind of thing, I tell folks to go find something new and great, but "Greetings from Michigan" fits so well with this coming season! So I ask you, forgive my hypocrisy.

But now some truly interesting stuff (to me at least): For those of you who don't know, and for those of you who don't care, I just got a full time job. That's right lads and lasses, an honest-to-God job! I'm a Grant Writer here for The Salvation Army. Now I know what you're thinking. "Kyle? A grant writer? With that hair?" But it's true! It is not a fabrication! I am sitting, right now, procrastinating to write this blog post for you!

^This is how I dress for work.^

Man I'm already bored with this post. I can't imagine how you feel. I guess I'll just jump straight to the witty observation I've had planned and we can take it from there.

I think that this job is the perfect "girlfriend job". What's a girlfriend job, you ask? Is it a job for a girlfriend? No, don't be simple. Is is a job that helps me attain a girlfriend? Well I doubt that. Let me explain, quit pitching your ideas. I doubt you'll figure it out. This job is the kind of job you want for when you eventually have a girlfriend. Why? For this one main reason: when she talks about you to her friends, or when you meet her parents, you or she can drop the top notch bomb of: "Oh yeah, of course he has a job. He's a grant writer for The Salvation Army."

Boom. That just blew up all over your skeptical face. Girl, I could buy you a house. Well, in a couple of years. Right now I can afford rent and not worry about it. But I can put away for a house! Heck yes, and then I can buy it for you! Tell that to your mom and dad, rub it in the face of that friend of yours who has terrible taste in boys but doesn't see it for herself and then criticizes anyone you're interested in.


steinks said...

my friend, that is a girlfriend job INDEED! the salvation army is a perfect place to write grants, because it makes you look all sweet and caring and loving and stuff. no one wants to date the grant writer at the PUPPY KILLING PLANT.

so where do i find me one of these boyfriend jobs, huh?

andrea said...

i have a friend exactly like that...

Alexandra said...

You just blew my mind! excellent! lol

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